bankroll blues

I've been playing micro-limit OHL and Razz on FullTilt - I'm down $50 so far, but it's fun learning a new game. I think what I've enjoyed most is reliving those lightbulb moments I had when I was learning Hold'Em. I've been playing the same people in my live games, that I think I go on auto-pilot with NLHE.

Unfortunately, my auto-pilot is stuck on "play like crap".

I played at Fallsview on Wednesday and dropped an entire buy-in. I went into the game not feeling up to it, and just had the feeling that I shouldn't play - but what do I do? Plunk down my $500 like an idiot.

I also haven't had a single decent finish this year at the Thursday league, and last night it really hit me. I'm playing badly. I'm not card-dead, I'm not getting sucked out on (at least not more than usual), I'm playing badly.

I'm playing loose, weak, and passive. I keep getting stuck with second best hands at the river and paying off the best hand. And why do I have second best hands? Because I either call with second-rate hands, or passively let my opponents catch up. I call in stead of folding. I call instead of raising. I check instead of betting. And I pay everyone off. Bad, bad Tart!

I'm such an emotional player - whether I like to admit it or not. How I feel impacts how I play, and how I play impacts how I feel. Lately I've been really stressed out, which leads to bad play, which leads to stress, which leads to....you get where I'm going here.

So what's the answer here? I don't think the stesses in my life are going anywhere anytime soon. I just need to find some better outlets for them, methinks.