Monday, May 11, 2009

I post, therefore I am.

I write about myself on Facebook, Twitter, LiveJournal and here. And you know what? I’m just not that interesting. I am, however, narcissistic, so I shall continue.

Last Thursday was the Season Final game for the Poker League. I was once a regular fixture in this game – so much so that at one point, Banky and I had attended more games than the league host (he went out of town for 3 weeks, and we hosted the weekly games at our house in his absence) – but this season I barely qualified to play in the final, just barely squeaking out the minimum 4 of 12 games to play.

I think part of my ennui with poker these days is because I am playing like shite, and I know it.

My starting requirements are so loose – I can find almost any reason to call. 10 5 off suit? Well, you know a 5 or a 10 is needed to make any straight. And with two suits, I have TWO chances to make a flush!

Loose starting requirements are ok, to an extent, but only if you’re able to pick up orphan pots. Not when you check/fold when you miss.

I know this, yet what do I do? Call-Check-Fold. Call-Check-Fold. Call-Check-Fold. Oh look! I have no chips left. Push with AK, get called by 1010...and I’m out!

Booo. Poker sucks. But it really doesn’t – I’m just not enjoying myself. The league games (the only live poker I’ve been able to squeeze in) just aren’t what they used to be. The games are too small, and all the people who make me laugh are gone. There are still people whom I like – but no one that I really look forward to interacting with.

If I’m going to burn money – I might as well do it while getting a few laughs at the same time. I need more pokery FUN.

I definitely want to stay playing Woody’s game again. Those boys always make me laugh. And I think it’s about time the TartWell residence hosted another homegame.

Any takers?

Monday, May 04, 2009

When the opportunity of a lifetime comes at the wrong time

Dude. It’s been forever since I blogged or read a blog (other than other mommy journals and Julius Goat’s LOST recaps).

I haven’t played poker online in...I can’t even remember.

My live poker has dwindled to maybe twice a month.

The Pokertart is feeling decidedly less...tart, these days.

I just caught up on all my bloglines feeds. It felt weird – almost like I was eavesdropping. I’ve been pondering why, after it was such a big part of my life, poker has fallen by the wayside. I do still watch it on TV (oh lordy do those GoDaddy commercials featuring Vanessa Rousso make me cringe), but for the most part, I’ve put it on the back burner. Of course, H has a lot to do with it. Becoming a parent sucks a whole lot of energy out of you – but there’s more...I think it boils down to an opportunity I turned down, and how it has made me view poker.

When H was 4 months old, I turned down a ‘dream’ job in the poker industry. I had verbally accepted, but it took over 6 weeks for the contract to get put through, and by the time it arrived, I was simply too exhausted, physically and mentally, to contemplate taking a new job, especially one that would require travel, as this one did. I don’t regret my decision – I love my current job, and I know I made the right choice for where I was in my life then. But I do wonder what might have been had I taken that job.

I think a part of me is afraid to embrace poker as I did before I had H, because if I do, perhaps I’ll find myself full of regret. If I dive into the poker world with as much enthusiasm as I had a year ago, will I long for a life I turned down?

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

The other day, Banky mentioned that he’d like us to try and win our way to the 2010 WSOP. H will be almost 2 then, so will definitely be able to stay with my parents for a few days. I kind of like the idea of working towards a goal in poker...and I’d still like to be the first woman to win the Main Event.

C’mon now, a Pokertart can dream, can’t she?