Monday, February 05, 2007

The Debut of Mr. Tart!

Mr. Tart recently wrote the following recount of a party we had to celebrate the end of the 4th season of our Thursday Night poker league., which he has graciously given me permission to post here.

For the unitiated: Polish Poker is a form of Hold'em we invented in honour of K, a Polish player in our league, who would frequently lament that he had folded the best hand (i.e. "I would have had full house!"). In Polish Poker, if you decide to fold, but want to "polish" your hand, you place an amount equal to the SB on your cards, and declare that you are "polishing". Should any other player(s) also "polish", you are competing against those players for the best hand after the board is complete. Should no other players "polish", you win! But if there's no flop, all polish bets are off - or as we determined on Friday night: No Flop, No Pole!

And now onto Mr. Tart's report...


Here is my Season 4 party trip report. Now I know many of you are saying “C how can you have a trip report when it was at your house?”

Well even though it was at my house I was playing on another planet (for those of you that were there you know what I’m talking about)

I get home at 7 from having dinner and see that there is a phone message. I get the message and it goes a little like this (please note this is not a word for word transcript but more of a summary):

“Hi this is J aka The Bus Driver”

At this point I realize that I only know one person named J.

“The wife is working a little late and I am going to be late. I should be there at around 8:30. I am not sure if we are going to be playing a cash game, some Sit and Goes or if it going to be a drink fest so just blind me in or what ever.”

A said he would bring his table so I figured he would arrive between 7:30 or 7:40. The doorbell rings and it is D and E (they’re not A).

Beer is handed out.

A arrives a few minutes later with the table and beer. Table is put in the dining room; beer is put in the fridge.

Beer is handed out.

Chips start being set up. At this point K and S arrive (not sure in the order).

Beer is handed out.

I explain that J aka The Bus Driver called and said he was going to be late for the cash game, Sit and Goes, drink fest and ask what we want to do. Every one agrees to a $10 Polish SnG with blinds going up every 10 minutes.

Beers are handed out.

Game begins, on the third hand E (the Tart) limps in, a few players limp in as well, me on the button raises approx. 4x the BB, the blinds fold to E who re-raises, people fold back to me and I wondering what I should do, the E then says “Why don’t you go all-in?”

I go all-in, E calls, I show Ace King suited, she shows pocket Jacks. The Jacks hold up and I’m crippled early.

Beers are handed out.

Now at some point M arrives with his girlfriend, then J aka The Bus Driver also arrives not sure that order of the arrival.

J takes a seat beside me and asks about the vodka. I give J the bottle and a few shot glasses. J pours a shot and looks at the bottle. J (I assume being a glass is half full type of guy) sees that the amount of vodka left in the bottle is about the same amount in his shot glass so being the nice guy that he is drinks his shot and then drinks the rest of the bottle.

Now at this point details become blurry and confused.

Beers are handed out.

At one point I won a hand with K-9 by getting two pair, A won the same hand in the polish with the same K-9. I realize that either A is very tight or I’m very loose.

Beers are handed out.

I ended up crippling K when my Red Aces held up on a board of 5-6-2 of clubs when K had the Ace of clubs and a 7.

Beers are handed out.

A was kind enough to show me why pocket 7’s are called walking sticks when he busted me out with them. Not sure what happen after but I know A still continues the love of pocket Queens when D cracked his Kings with them when a queen hit on the river.

We discover that A is the master of Polish poker and will be writing a chapter on it in Super System 3.

Someone won and we decided to play a $20 sit and go.

Beers are handed out.

Some how I get short stacked but work my way back. J raises a pot 5x to 200 then claims 5x is like two times more extreme then 3x porn, something with arm pits and eye brows, I say whoa I thought 5x was like sheep and trees.

I look at my cards and have aces and thinking I’m short stacked go all-in for like 1400 (just a little over bet) everyone folds.

A raises to 120 (blinds are 30/60) and like the whole table calls. I am in the big blind and have crap but I’m getting odds to call, but I can’t figure out if I should polish it or not, so I regular call.

Flop come 5h-6s-7h. J checks, I look at my cards, I look at the board. I look at my cards, I look at the board. I count on my fingers and then say all-in.

A says “What?” and I say “All-in”

A looks at the board and then looks at me; I look at the board and look at my cards. A still looking at me says call. Every one else folds. I turn over my 3-4 of hearts and crack A’s Aces and bust him out.

More poker happens more people get busted, J gets busted and then becomes my consultant, advising me on my hands by suggesting things like, go all-in with that hand, fold that and so on. I listen to J and he’s right.

Jeff then leaves the table and D bends me over the table prison style with his pocket Kings against my J-10. (I can’t sit properly for hours afterwards.) Not sure what happens but I place 3rd.

I think either D or S wins.

We play another $20 sit and go, I get busted early and I am sitting beside D.

D after giving it to me prison style decides we should work together and we start playing our (D's) hands together.

More poker happens, more drinking happens and someone wins.

People start leaving at this time.

Some one suggests we play 7 card stud and the rest of us do. I adjust tournament director and we have a crazy blind structure. Ends up the women are the real studs and A and E chop at the end. By this time it is like 4 in the morning and every one goes home.

Over I think I was down like $30 to $50 but lost a lot more and then the money (like respect).

Great time every one, I had lots of fun, not sure if any one else did but all I know there wasn't a lot of beer left.


And thus ends our Friday night.

Hopefully Mr. Tart will join me for more posts in the future...

1 comment:

tervin said...

I'm glad that the gays could be a part of your game, what with our wedding picture in the background!

If Mr. Tart had only been twinkle waving in that picture...